Psychodynamic therapy is based on the idea that we suffer emotionally because of inner tension between different aspects of ourselves. On the one hand, we have powerful needs and impulses, and on the other hand we have rules to follow and expectations to live up to. The conflict comes when the “I” in the middle (You!) has to figure out some way of fulfilling its needs, but in a way that feels acceptable socially and morally.

Defense Mechanisms

Anxiety, depression, paranoia, avoidance, procrastination, denial, rage, addiction (and so on…) all result from the I-in-the-middle (You!) feeling like it is totally overwhelmed and about to break down. In these moments, we reach for well-known thoughts and behaviours that we know will make the overwhelming thing go away.

These psychological tools are the famous “defense mechanisms” like black-and-white thinking, rationalisation, and denial. When they become a problem, it’s usually because they’re the last-ditch effort of the I-in-the-middle to keep some kind of balance between the two opposing sides.

The problem is that we usually choose our defenses without thinking about it; we automatically go with either:

  • The one we know how to use best.
  • The one that will give us the quickest resolution to our discomfort.

Short-Term Gain, Long-Term Pain

But these familiar solutions are almost always short-term solutions, and almost always have negative long-term consequences. The more things you avoid and ignore, the bigger the unconscious discomfort grows and the harder it gets to resolve that discomfort. Work and stress pile up, your relationships start to sour, you’re angry (or sad, or anxious) all the time, your physical health starts to deteriorate, and you begin to feel like you’re carrying around a ton of bricks all the time, or that if one more f* cking thing happens, you’re just going to explode.

For some people, this results in panic attacks, for some it might manifest in extreme lethargy and depression, and for yet others it comes exploding out in anger and/or impulsivity. The “symptoms” each person has depends on their life history, as well as the nature of the family and culture they grew up within.

Psychodynamic Goals

So, this is the purpose of psychodynamic therapy:

  • To provide a pressure valve for all of that unconscious conflict.
  • To understand what defenses you use and what they’re protecting you from.
  • Finding more effective defenses that manage your anxiety and discomfort but leave you feeling better, not worse.

In other words, psychodynamic therapy is about learning the skill of healthy emotional self-regulation and stress-management. You don’t have to remain a slave to bad habits and automatic reactions that cause more problems than they solve. It takes time, effort, and perseverance, but things do change.